I love being a woman.
Most of the time. I’m fully aware there is a long list of complaints about the patriarchy, women’s rights, motherhood, and probably a dozen other things I’m forgetting that I could easily lodge against being a woman, but 99% of the time I really like it.
It’s freaking cool we have the ability to grow whole new humans inside us. It’s amazing we can have multiple orgasms in a row with no refractory period. I even like having boobs, even though sometimes in the summer when it’s really hot it’s a giant pain. And I won’t pretend there aren’t some automatic privileges that come with being a white female in America that I’ve definitely benefitted from— the number of traffic tickets vs. number of times being pulled over is incredibly low, something I know most men can’t say.
But you know when being a woman is not so great? Anytime you get a UTI or yeast infection.
Like who decided all those parts needed to be so close together? Or that the vagina is both super resilient and can stretch to accommodate bringing new life into the world but so delicate that if your pH is out of whack you’ll be miserable? And probably allergic to the over-the-counter yeast infection medication so you’ll wake up with the most intense itching ever in your life and panic so badly you call the teledoc at 3 a.m.
You have sex and don’t pee immediately? UTI. Take the antibiotics like you’re supposed to and have sex a few times, yeast infection. It’s like come on body work with me here!
I’m glad it’s not just me.
For a really long time, I swear I was the only person who ever got UTIs, especially from having sex. It got so bad at one point that I was on a low-dose daily antibiotic to keep the infections from coming back. But no one I knew personally had ever had the same issues.
I just recently finished reading All Things Aside by Iliza Shlesinger and was so happy to read that she gets UTIs too! I mean I really wouldn’t wish a UTI on anyone, especially not someone as cool as Iliza but it felt nice to know I wasn’t the only one.
Men don’t understand.
And worse, most men don’t understand why you can’t lay there and cuddle for an hour. I’ve got to get up and pee so I don’t get a UTI damn it.
I’m prone to UTIs. I’ve had multiple surgeries on my bladder, kidneys, etc., and more UTIs than I could ever count. I remember the first time I got a UTI when I was with my first serious boyfriend. He didn’t understand why I had to stop at every available public restroom along the Las Vegas Strip and 70 times on our way to the Hoover Dam. Or why it was an absolute no-go to have any object touch or enter the backdoor, and then the front. It’s not just him either, most men don’t, because it’s a non-issue for them.
And porn doesn’t help. I swear pornstars must just be on antibiotics all the time.
This should be part of the comprehensive sex education we all need—both men and women should understand the female anatomy and how to prevent issues like UTIs or yeast infections.
Or maybe the whole system should’ve been designed better so it’s not so easy to get bacteria where it’s not supposed to be just by doing something natural and fun like sex.
Thank you for being a reader of Let’s Talk About Sex and coming on this vulnerable, important, sometimes rant-filled journey with me. If you know someone who would like to join us please share!